woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
