I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
