Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
