so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
