Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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