dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
