The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
