You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
