I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Even the bartender felt bad for me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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