How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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