omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
