Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My vagina is officially offended.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
