Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize