i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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