Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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