then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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