Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
