My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize