Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
