so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My legs feel like baby dolphins
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
