dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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