I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
