I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
