i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize