The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
