how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize