i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
