he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
