i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize