thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
