i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
