if i can run in heels then i can drive
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
