Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
