Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
