so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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