Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
