Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
50% drunk capacity currently
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
