I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
