some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
