i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
