So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
honey bunches of taint.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I touched a dick in church today
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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