I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
