There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
