She said her name was "party"
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
