Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
