This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize