my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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