i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
