You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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