names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
