TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
