Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
