If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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