So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
