guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm at about main and main street
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
