Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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