Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
