I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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