If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Randomize
