My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
