she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
