you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
