Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
