Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
