he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
