So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
