It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
