I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You can't special order awesome
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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