i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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