we have officially lost it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
