eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize