I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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