dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
