one two three fourrrrnication!
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
