Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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