Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
