The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
