He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
