is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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